Thursday, May 05, 2005

Growing Old and Growing Up, Again

It has been over a month since I last posted an entry here. Time flies even when you are not having fun.

Since my last entry, I celebrated another birthday in late April. Every year as my birthday approaches, I struggle with my emotions over this event. Logic tells me that I should be happy that I am alive and healthy. However, the event reminds me how much society stereotypes us even by a number.

A person's age automatically defines who they are to others. My number is up there and yet I do not look, act, or feel as old as my age is seen by our society. My tastes are much more those of someone in their 20's or 30's. My driver's license photo looks like a person 20 years younger than my age. Thank goodness for small favors in life. My outlook is that of today, not of the past.

But I have spent most of my life marching to a slightly out of step and different drummer. Because my path has been different from the expectations that society imposes on us, I often feel as if I don't fit in anywhere. So it is with my age. I am still a twenty something year old stuck in a middle age body. It seems as though society expects us to conform to the preconcieved notions of what a person of my age should be. I'm not buying it. If that is the case, I never want to grow up.

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