I had not written in this blog for some time. A friend suggested that maybe I should pick it back up and so yesterday I published my first post in nearly one year. Since I have had very few comments on my blog in the past, I was not expecting to read one about my post yesterday.
When I logged on late this morning, there was a comment that was critical of my post. Since the comment was made anonymously, I could not respond to the person making it. True to wanting to please others, I edited my post to delete what that person found offensive.
However, I am now putting everyone who may read my blog on notice that I will no longer accept anonymous comments. This blog is supposed to be MY thoughts and the post yesterday was written with the intent of being positive. For some reason, the person commenting took offense to what I wrote. So here is the deal. If you feel that strongly about something that I have written here, then you must leave me your name or email address.
One of the reasons, I quit writing in this blog is because I have been mired in negativity for nearly a year. Last May, I was deeply hurt by a close family member and I have allowed it to continue eat away at my self esteem. Then recently someone that I thought was a friend did something for no reason that not only hurt me but also made me feel used. In the last year, I have been beating myself up way too much over things that I have no control over.
This morning I was talking to a friend who also has had a very bad year. I told him that I was tired of feeling so negative and that it had really affected nearly every relationship I have with the exception of my coworkers. I was concerned that if I did not turn my attitude around, I would be left with no friends or family to turn to when I needed someone. In fact this week, another friend told me that she wanted the "old me" (the fun and positive me) back into her life. It was then I knew I had to do something.
My first friend then said that he believed that you generate your own positive karma by having a positive attitude. He told me that he just recently come to this conclusion after something really nice happened to him last weekend. Thinking about that event kept him in a positive mood nearly this entire week. He said that he did not want to let positive feeling slip away so he kept focusing on the positive things in his life. He was right. My self defeatist attitude is creating negative karma and driving people away from me. And like my other friend, I want the "old me," the fun and positive me back.
It was after that conversation with my first friend about karma, that I logged on here and read the negative comment on my post of yesterday. Suddenly, I started feeling myself slipping back into my negative funk again. Then I remembered what my friend told me about creating your own karma. So I have decided to take charge of my own happiness. Part of that is to not let someone else's negativity drag me down. I need to accept that their negativity is THEIR problem, and not mine. I am an adult and I can no longer allow others dictate my happiness any more.